Being 35 is turning out to be a complete hormonal shitstorm. My periods, which have always been every 28 days like clock-work, are getting closer together. Like 23-24-25-26 days. Pretty much whenever that bitch feels like making her ugly appearance. I feel like I am constantly buying tampons. Speaking of tampons, remember that one time my hubs asked me if women are allowed shower or take baths while wearing tampons? That was humorous.
Having periods so close together pretty much means that I am constantly PMSing. Which means that I can’t stop EATING. Which means that I feel like shit, and then guilty, and then I eat some more. I mean, the cheesesteak with fried onions and mushrooms that I just housed was delicious but it did nothing for my mental health or my obsession with being celeb skinny. Nothing I eat satisfies my hunger and honestly I can’t wait to dig in to the pumpkin pie ice cream in the freezer in a few hours. Leggings are a blessing, indeed.
Even without the food baby in my stomach, I would still be bloated. I just feel gross. My hair seems greasy. My forehead is breaking out. Am I 12? I remember when I was 11 and got my period. I HATED IT SO MUCH. Especially wearing pads (EWWWW) and playing sports and cramps and sore boobs….HATED IT!
From like 15 to 34, I pretty much just dealt with my monthly visitor. Autopilot for sure. It was expected, a perfect cycle, with occasional cramps and cravings. Little did I know that in my mid-thirties I would be dealing with this shit in a whole new way…magnified….with kids and a crazy ass schedule, which doesn’t help the situation. Disclaimer: Like all of my complaining/ranting/bitching posts, I do know that it could be much worse and I am lucky, but DAMN I am hungry and miserable.
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