play date
noun
noun: playdate
-
a date and time set by parents for children to play together.
The term “play date” used to scare me. I interpreted it as fabulous care-free stay at home moms inviting other fabulous care-free stay at home moms over for a light lunch, while the children were quietly occupied in the spacious Pottery Barn decorated playroom. The moms would talk about potty-training, what to make for dinner, and the newest Janie & Jack line. The conversations were fake and sometimes awkward. A ton of silent moments with a lot of phone checking. The hostess’ homemade sandwiches were perfect, served on the cutest new plates from Crate and Barrel. There were even mimosas, served with the GOOD champagne. The kids didn’t make a peep until it was time to get in the minivan and move on to the next play date. These “dates” seemed too good to be true, and quite frankly, entirely too much work.
Luckily (for me), play dates were rare when my oldest was little. He was not in daycare or pre-school, so the only other children he played with were cousins or my friend’s children. I was totes okay with that. No dates needed to be set, no chicken salad sandwiches needed to be served. When we got together it would be random and spur of the moment. I love spur of the moment. It was EASY. My comfort zone was in tact.
When my youngest started daycare, I knew that I was going to have to embark on the world of play dates. UGHHHHH. Being an introverted extrovert (yes- it is a thing), social situations give me anxiety sometimes. OK, most of the time. Especially social situations when I need to make small talk with a stranger. The worst! As time has gone by, I feel like I have gotten better with meeting new parents. It happens a lot: at soccer practice, on field trips, at school functions. We all have something in common: our kids. The few minutes of chatting is harmless.
Recently, we were invited on a play date at the house of one of my daughter’s (who is almost FOUR btw) very best friends. She talks about him non-stop, so I was actually looking forward to talking with his mom and letting the kids play outside of daycare. The date could not have been more perfect. The kids had a blast, but they certainly were not quiet. We ate cupcakes and talked about all different kinds of things: family, friends, our babies. She drinks wine and allows her kids sugar and TV, which means we will get along just fine. I felt comfortable, and honestly could have hung out all afternoon. It was almost as if we were old friends just relaxing on a Sunday afternoon with our kids. If that is what play dates are supposed to be like, then I am officially an advocate.
No longer am I going to be “scared” of play dates. It is time that I embrace these moments and make the best out of them, as soon enough I will not be wanted (or welcome) when my kids play with their friends. Sure, there might be times when I have NOTHING in common with the parents, but it’s not about me…it’s about the date.
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