Hi, I’m a full time working mom of two and my husband is a high school football coach. If there was a support group for coach’s wives, I would be there….which gets me thinking, is there one? Don’t get me wrong- the fact that he has a passion for something and actually enjoys and loves what he does is amazing. And he is GOOD at it. He was destined to be a coach.
Now let’s get real. He leaves the house at 6 AM and walks through our door around 7 PM, sometimes later. You know, like if they had to stay late to put stickers on the players’ helmets he would be late. During pre-season, we would be asleep before he got home. Getting the kids ready for school, dropping them off to school/daycare, working my full time job, picking kids up, making dinner, bathing kids and putting kids to bed (which is a job in itself) for four straight months is exhausting and a definite excuse for me to be bitter. So for all of you proud wives of football coaches who think I need to support my husband more- I give you the eye roll and the face palm, along with a few choice words.
Yes, I went into marriage and deciding to have children knowing that football was going to be a big part of our lives, but actually living through it is a different story.
Technology is making things a lot worse when it comes to being a coach’s wife. Have you ever heard of the program/app Hudl? OK, well imagine your husband glued to a laptop for a majority of the time he is home (which isn’t often) watching and analyzing game films of opponent’s games. And then there are the phone calls. Of course they need to talk about what defense they will be using in next week’s game at 8 o’clock at night when we are trying to get the kids to bed….because they didn’t have time to discuss it at practice?! The worst is the texting. UGHHHHHHHHH. The sound of the bell/ding whatever that noise is when he gets a text makes my skin crawl. And it is a group text with about 10 coaches (I am assuming) so his phone is constantly blowing up. Don’t these other coaches have wives/kids/girlfriends?? Do their wives feel this way? Am I the only one who complains? I can’t be.
It’s not that I want him to quit…I just want there to be a football/home balance. Like maybe 2 days a week be home in time to pick up our 2 year old from daycare so I can stay late at work or go to the gym. Or turn off all phone calls/text messages for a block of time on weekend or at night. I don’t know…something!! Before kids, I do not remember feeling this way. When hubs had games, I would sit on the porch, drink wine, hang with friends, go to Happy Hour, go shopping, to thy gym…I was free! With kids, a lot of the time I feel like I am on my own, trapped and tired. Of course I can handle it and I love my kids and spending time with them is EVERYTHING! But every now and then, during these 4 months, I feel the need to let out my frustrations, anger, etc. Today is that day! I guess I have a hard time with not being the most important thing on hub’s mind all day! (Kidding- sort of)
Some people use the term “Football Widow.” I use it too, in a joking sense. Obviously our husbands are here with us, love us support us, and take care of us…but there is a sense of absence during the fall that no one really understands until they are a coach’s wife.
On a positive note, there are about 6 weeks left of this chaos and then we can return to somewhat normal lives…until spring ball starts.
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