36

 

 

In less than 2 weeks I will be 36.  Forty is not far away and I am feeling old. Why you ask?  Oh, here are just 36 reasons.

 

1. I feel weird/awkward shopping at Urban Outfitters.  This has been my FAVORITE store since I could afford the clothes after college.  Now when I am shopping in the store (which is so rare), I am surrounded by tweens and cool kids in their twenties in skinny skinny skinny jeans.   Thank God for online shopping. At least I can hide the fact that I am buying a trendy velvet black choker.
2. On a recent business trip to Nashville, I was thinking about my hotel bed and sleep while out having some cocktails. Don’t get me wrong. I was having fun listening to the live music, but the thought of waking up and working the next day killed the vibe.
3. Songs on the radio suck.  i.e. I Took a Pill in Ibiza.  HATE. THAT. SONG.  Would rather listen to the news or talk radio.
4. When asked the choice to go out or stay in….staying in is always the answer. In sweats. With wine. And all electronic devices.
5. My body is changing.  I am trying to embrace it but it’s not easy.
6. I live vicariously through my recent-college-graduate cousin’s insta, twitter and snapchat feeds. Her life is so FUN.
7. I got my first call home from the principal for a kindergarten “incident”.
8. Realizing the fact that I graduated high school EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO. Time to start dieting for the twenty year reunion….
9.  If asked for advice about pregnancies/babies, I feel like a damn EXPERT!
10. Doctors in my rotation: dermatologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist, gynecologist…I have a lot of issues.
11. I don’t think Zac Efron is hot.
12. Sports bras are my best friend.  So over the effing under-wire in my bras.
13. Thongs are really starting to annoy me. I wish I didn’t care about underwear lines so much.
14. Refusal to do shots.  Although I could be tempted if it was a special occasion.  Washington Apple perhaps?  Is that still as shot that people take?
15. Black leggings are everything to me. EVERYTHING.
16. While JAMMING to Beyonce’s Lemonade in my car- singing every word- when the twenty something guy in the truck looks at me.  But then remember B is almost my age, so I keep on SINGING!
17.  I write a freaking MOM BLOG.
18. Witnessing friends and acquaintances divorce. We are at that age and it’s hard to believe.
19. Vacations are….well…..different.  No more laying on the beach reading magazines and napping.  We are now looking for shells and building sandcastles.
20. My Starbucks Iced Americano is the highlight of the day sometimes.
21. Comparing myself to all of the other kindergarten moms…and then I think.  Wait.  I am a kindergarten mom.
22. Coming to the realization that “me time” doesn’t really exist.
23. I am turning more and more into my own mom every single day.
24. Mood swings and menstrual cycle are OUT OF CONTROL.
25. Knowing that I won’t have any more babies. (KNOCKING ON WOOD AS I TYPE)
26. Totes holding on to my “youth” by using cray slang.
27.  The wardrobe is starting to favor Old Navy and Target.  Ugh.
28. The kids have MORE and BETTER clothes than I do.
29.  I am now a chaperone on class trips.  Like, I am in charge of multiple children.
30. Honestly cannot remember the last time I went to Happy Hour. I used to OWN Happy Hour.
31.  The main conversation of every day between me and hubs: What’s for dinner?
32.  The only “alone” time I have is my commute to and from work.  I cherish it.
33.  I’m meeting other kindergarten and daycare moms who are kind of like me- and it’s comforting.
34. This soccer mom thing….I am totally meant to be one.
35. My ten year wedding anniversary is coming up and DAMN I would do so many things different with the reception.  Too much PINK.  Live and learn, they say.
36. My kid’s friends calling me Mrs.  I. JUST. CAN’T.